Stop watching free fem-dom porn!
That’s the first thing you need to do if you’re serious about finding a dominatrix. The fantasy you see in a three-minute video clip doesn’t reflect what it’s really like to be a submissive.
The next thing you need to know about mistresses and dominatrices is that they don’t grow on trees. And if you think they’ll come running to you just because you declared your intentions to be a submissive, think again! These are strong, dominant women we’re talking about here. When looking for a mistress, you have to exert some effort to make yourself attractive to them.
How to Find a Dominatrix
What’s the best way to find a mistress online? Let us count the ways.
1. Everything starts with an amazing online profile
Even if you’re meeting women in your local community, it’s vital that you have an online BDSM dating profile. The dominant women you meet at the bar will likely ask for your FetLife profile to friend you. It would be better to come prepared than to flounder like a fish out of water when asked for your kink social media profile.
And while you’re at it, you should take the time to create a detailed online profile. If you don’t know how, Google is your new best friend.
2. Do your homework
It’s not your partner’s job to teach you how BDSM works. You’re looking for a dominatrix, not a teacher. If you’re new to this, you’re not expected to know everything. But, at least, make an effort to learn terminologies and concepts outside of what you’ve heard in porn. Your domme will surely notice your diligence and reward you for it.
3. Be clear about what you want
Yes, you’re the submissive. But that doesn’t mean you can’t voice out your preferences. Think of all the fetishes and kinks you’d like to be a part of your relationship. You should also determine if you’re in it for the long haul or if you’re just looking for a temporary BDSM relationship. Letting your partner know all these beforehand will help her manage her expectations about your relationship.
4. Improve your social skills
If you’re new to this whole BDSM thing, you may feel at a loss how to communicate with a domme. But what you need to understand is that dominant women are just regular people. They’re not some alien species. Talk to them like you would any other person. Be polite and pleasant. After all, how can you negotiate the terms of your relationship if you can’t talk to her?
5. Go to places where dominant women go
If you want to find a domme, you need to be where they are, whether that’s online or in your local community. If you don’t make the first move to put yourself out there, you’ll never get positive results.
6. Determine compatibility
Now that you’ve met a few dominant women online and offline, it’s time to determine compatibility. This would be easier in face-to-face situations because it’s easier to make friends that way and see what’s what.
However, you need to understand that determining compatibility goes both ways. She also needs to know if you’re a good fit for her. But to do so, she needs to see the real you and not just some pretend version of you. Don’t be afraid to show her your geeky or nerdy side.
Where to Find a Dominatrix
Here are just some of the best places to meet a mistress.
BDSM dating sites
Meeting someone on a BDSM dating site or a dominatrix app is a sure way of knowing if a woman is into BDSM. There’s no reason for her to be there if she’s not. Meeting her online can also help give you an idea of your kink compatibility before meeting in person.
Kink social networking service
Joining a kink social networking platform can help you find a domme. An example of this is FetLife. Once you’ve created a profile, you can start your hunt for a dominatrix. It won’t be easy, though. You’ll have to convince them that you’re serious about being a submissive.
Can you find a dominatrix on Reddit? Absolutely! In fact, it has one of the largest online BDSM communities out there. Try accessing the subreddit r/BDSMcommunity, and you’ll see what we mean.
Go through the posts there. If you can’t find a domme, you can always post a thread of your own. If you’re still having trouble, you can ask for recommendations from other members where else you can find a partner.
Local community and bar
If you’re not getting any luck finding a domme online, why not do it the traditional way? Attend parties. Go to a bar. Meet women in person at community events. If you can find a vanilla relationship this way, you can surely find a local mistress using the same technique.
Final Thoughts
If BDSM is new territory for you, don’t be afraid to ask questions. There are lots of BDSM communities you can turn to for help. But you should also do your own research at the same time.
