They say the number of swingers in the world is very low, with only less than 4% of the population identifying themselves as such. But that number isn’t at a 0, and however little the chances are, you might know someone in real life who’s into alternative lifestyles without even realizing it!
Most people in the swinging community go to great lengths to keep their privacy, but identifying swingers in the real world is still possible if you pay attention enough. There’s been much debate about the existence of symbols for swingers, with some attributing it to urban legend. Regardless, what could have started as rumors can easily be adopted into a real practice to connect and find other swingers within your circles. There’s some element of truth in every rumor, after all.
How to Tell Swingers You’re Interested
Knowing what’s the symbol for swingers isn’t enough to get one. The swinger community is big on consent (rightfully so!), so coming up to a random person to ask for sex with multiple people at once isn’t always the best approach. Instead, swingers like to give out subtle clues that only people in the lifestyle can recognize. Knowing these telltale signs is crucial for a beginner; after all, it can still be difficult to find swingers on Tinder and other vanilla dating apps where the selection pool is widest.
Context is also important. Swingers might take heed of a sign you’re putting out, but if it’s in a tame place like your child’s baseball league or your workplace, you best believe no one will approach you with an invitation to swing. On the other hand, catching someone wearing a black ring at a club or house party is a whole different story. Meeting people organically is one of the best things a swinger can experience. Who knows—your neighbor or the cute guy in the bar could already be sending out smoke signals in your direction!
Quick disclaimer before we proceed: Although some have expressed success with these tactics, most swingers who’ve adopted these signs have expressed few to no approaches from fellow swingers. One Redditor even shared that he wore a black ring on a swinger cruise with 3,000 swingers on board and only one person ended up commenting on his themed accessory. Some have gotten flirtatious winks at most. How to tell if a couple are swingers isn’t as easy as this article might make it sound. It’s either swingers don’t know about it or most fail to pay attention. Still, it doesn’t hurt to try, especially for a newbie eager to get into the lifestyle.
With that said, if you’re looking to get started or find new sexual partners to swap and share with, here are six signs of a swinger.
How to Tell if People Are Swingers
Jewelry Pieces
Anklets, toe rings, thumb rings, switching the wedding ring to the right hand—there seems to be an endless list of accessories to be worn to announce to the world that someone’s a swinger. Amidst the confusing variety, black rings stand out the most in the swinging community.
Like other jewelry, black rings are meant to be worn only when a swinger wants to be recognized by another fellow swinger. There’s no particulars when it comes to design; it just has to be the color black to count. Unlike the other items on this list, wearing a black ring is the most convenient and easily identifiable sign swingers can use to make themselves known.
Although black rings are arguably the most famous identifier, there’s also some risk attached to it since it can cause quite the mix-up with other communities looking to cement their identities to a similar accessory. Black rings can also mean a person is asexual or widowed, depending on which finger the ring is worn (ring placement tip: asexuals wear them on the middle finger, while swingers wear them on the ring finger—allegedly). However, it’s also highly unlikely that an asexual and a swinger will be in the same social event to begin with.
Pineapple Obsession
Throughout history, the pineapple has symbolized friendship, luxury, and hospitality—and there’s no better way to show how welcoming a swinger is than a fruity surprise. Look close enough and you just might see it lying around the porch: pineapple door knockers, doormats, and mailboxes.
The best part is that pineapples can look like a regular fruit obsession that can be donned on clothes, accessorized in rings and earrings, and more, but there’s also a secret code in all this. Swingers can set themselves apart from normal pineapple lovers by turning the fruit upside down. Another common gesture is having an upside down pineapple in a shopping cart to attract potential swingers your way without having said a word.
Front Lawn Decorations
Flamingos, garden gnomes, white landscaping rocks around the mailbox, and any other pink or purple decorations in the front garden could signify swingers in the house. If swingers can’t be out and about in this vanilla world, at least their yard can! These hints could very well lead to a full-on swinger house if you’re lucky. That said, it might be worth introducing yourself the next time you pass by. At the same time, these are common ‘70s and ‘80s-inspired lawn decor, which could just mean people who have a thing for colorful vintage looks.
The back patio could also be worth looking at: if they have a hot tub or a fire pit, chances are they’re also into the swinging lifestyle. We’re not exactly sure how the hot tub inclinations started, but many swingers seem to possess a hot tub to lounge in.
The Swing Symbol
As the swinging community grew, a few shops became interested in creating a universal symbol for swingers that could easily be identified by all swingers with the least amount of confusion involved. If the LGBT community has the rainbow flag and the BDSM community the o-ring, the swinger community is severely lacking in that aspect. Nothing says assurance like a distinct logo made for swingers, by swingers.
One such shop is The Swinger Symbol. They don’t call themselves a logo, a brand, nor a company—but a concept idea. They created the ultimate swinger emblem called “The Swing” that is packed with the precise signification of what the lifestyle represents, from the chosen colors to the symbol itself.
“Symbols are used by many cultures and communities to create links, relationships and unity,” The Swinger Symbol said on its About page. “Community symbols connect groups of people with the same interest and lifestyle.” It can be easily typed on a keyboard, too: (\_/)
The Swinger Symbol notes that anyone is free to use the symbol and share it around to the right audience. To really get the word out, they refused to copyright the concept and even encouraged others to open up a shop and sell products with the symbol, which has since been adopted by shops like SinBoutique, Swinger Lifestyle Shop, Swingers Boutique, DS Swinging Merchandise, Sin City Style, and more. They’re doing the Lord’s work.
Emojis
Beyond real life, swingers have gone to the digital world to hunt for new sexual partners. If anything, the internet can be pretty straightforward. Hookups have never been this convenient, thanks to the wonders of dating apps. However, finding someone in the lifestyle can still be a challenging task. A swinger can quickly let themselves be known by putting a simple pineapple or unicorn emoji in their bios. We’ve talked about the significance of pineapples, but what about unicorns?
In the swinging community, a unicorn refers to any single female, usually bisexual, looking for a new couple(s) to have fun with. Unicorns are rare and thus the most sought after given its nature—hence the title unicorn. Very few women in this world will be both attractive and be willing to be part of a swinger party. Once you manage to hook them in, don’t let them go!
Pampas Grass
Here’s another throwback: pampas grass was more than an ornamental plant in the past. Maria Kourris, head florist at Amarante London, explained: “Pampas grass was most associated with swingers as having them grow outside the porch was an indicator of sexual liberation and curiosity, and was an invitation of such.”
Since the 1970s, the popularity of pampas grass has rapidly fallen due to swinging connotations that most vanilla people refused to identify with. One unsuspecting broadcaster said she received several unexpected inquiries from neighbors after placing two vases of pampas grass on her balcony.
Today, pampas grass is experiencing a sudden resurgence in the 21st century, with influencers behind its comeback. After all, it’s a low-maintenance plant that makes for great home decor. Invitation to swap and share might not be its mainstream intention anymore, but swingers with a strong nostalgia for the past might not be over the trend just yet.
Now That You Know What’s the Symbol For Swingers…
Knowing what you know now, you’ll want to look for signs in your neighborhood almost immediately. We know, but make sure to proceed with caution every time. Do swingers wear black rings and have pink flamingos in their yard? Yes…but so do other vanilla people. Some of these signs might be too common with “normal people” to be dependable. If all else fails, your best bet is still scouting for swingers on the internet or going to a swinger house.
Overall, don’t just wear swinger signs expecting a result that’s reminiscent of a porn plot—wear it because you’re proud to be a swinger and want to attract like-minded people, too! It wouldn’t be too bad if someone happens to approach you one fateful night asking if you’re in the same club. Then again, most swingers won’t need these signs to get things going for them! They have a way of naturally grabbing people’s attention, so that alone could be enough to spot one.
