I believe that we all have kinks. They’re fun, they make things hotter, sexier, and most importantly, they make sex even better.
But what do you do if you want to talk about kinky stuff in a sex chat? If it’s your first time, this may seem weird at first, but here’s what you need to keep in mind: when you’re in a fetish sex chat room, you’ll be among people who are into the same stuff as you.
It all comes down to whether or not you and the other person you match with has the same kink, and even if they don’t match, it’s likely that they’re open to exploring YOUR kinky stuff.
Here are some things you need to know about kinky chatting in a fetish sex chat room:
1. Remember Your Purpose
The reason you and the other person are in an adult sex fetish chat room is both of you want to indulge in kinky stuff online. The thing is, it’s easy to lose sight of you or the other person’s desires when you get into a deep conversation.
Sometimes, we want to explore so much and get real-life experiences that we end up playing with someone who isn’t really the right one for us. One of the rules in kinky chat is to never, ever forget your desires, more so your kinks, just because you think the person you’re chatting with is cute.
Remember, your purpose of being in the chat room is to get your kink on! If it’s not going to be fulfilled the way you want it to, then what’s the point of spending hours online and typing away (and possibly developing carpal tunnel syndrome in the process)?
Let’s say you chat with someone whose fetishes don’t really complement yours, or your values or personalities don’t align. Even if you think you can satisfy their kinks, the whole thing won’t go as planned if they can’t reciprocate. Trust me, the law of reciprocation is crucial here, which is why you need to ensure you get the same thing back. Otherwise, it will all be for nothing.
Getting to know the other person is essential because this is when you’ll really get each other’s vibe and determine if both of you have the same kinky interests. The initial stage of getting to know each other is all about deciding whether playing together will be a great experience or you both would rather be friends… or nothing at all.
For example, if you’re into foot fetish sex chatting and you think the other person won’t be able to give you what you want, keep looking.
2. Keep an Open Mind
We always have an image of the perfect person for us, and that applies as well when looking for a kinky sex partner. That’s why when we meet someone, we try our hardest to fit that person into our world that we have already designed and built. However, even in the real world, it’s not going to work that way.
If you think about it, that’s not fair to the other person. And what you need to remember is there’s no perfect person out there who will fit all the criteria you set for the kinky adventures you want to embark on.
But many people will STILL try to make this happen, and as a result, they only end up infatuated with the idea of the person.
Instead of keeping an open mind and letting the other person show themselves for who they truly are, it doesn’t happen. What happens is they get so focused on their idea of who that person should be that instead of screwing in a chat room, they screw the whole thing up.
If you want to have a great play partner, you need to let go of any preconceived notions you have. Check in with yourself. If you can, clear your head before you get into a fetish sex chat room.
There’s no way to know any of this when you meet someone for the first time, especially through a kinky chat room. That’s why it’s essential you keep your mind open. You’ll never know who will walk in your life and make your kinky dreams come true.
3. Don’t Take Things Personally
Another important rule in the world of kink is to never, ever take anything personally, especially initial reactions. It’s highly likely that the person who catches your attention may not reciprocate your interest from the start for many reasons, and that’s totally okay.
In kinky sex chat rooms, you don’t just jump in the kink—you get to know each other first. Chemistry is still important here, and to determine that, you need to go through the initial getting-to-know-each-other stage.
Get into that initial stage. Ask them some basic personal questions that will help you gauge if they’re someone you want to get kinky with. Remember, you can also ask questions not related to the kinky stuff first before you get the whole kink started.
Getting upset when the other person doesn’t reciprocate would ruin your chance of getting to know them more in the future. So keep the atmosphere light. And if it doesn’t work out, that’s okay.
4. Be Patient
When it comes to the kinky stuff, many people jump on it headfirst, especially in kinky sex chat rooms, because they think they’re already there anyway, so why spend time waiting?
The thing is, if you want a good kinky partner (and if you want to be a good one yourself), patience is the key. Slow down. Linger in the process of learning what turns the other person on and what they don’t like.
Then gradually explore new things, level up intensity during the scenes, and test your limits.
Approaching a person with a sense of urgency gives off awful vibes, and people would definitely run to the other end. So if you don’t want people running away from you, you need to take your time and practice patience.
Moreover, getting there too fast will make you seem like you lack self-control and you’re only concerned about your own needs, which is a huge no-no. This doesn’t look good and won’t help you inspire and gain the other person’s trust.
Learning to go with the flow and enjoy the present moment will make everything go more smoothly.
5. Be Respectful No Matter What
Just because someone is into kinky stuff doesn’t mean they don’t have boundaries when it comes to it. It’s actually quite the opposite.
Usually, everyone you meet in a kinky chat room has their boundaries—and you have yours, too! Be explicit about these boundaries to help the other person stay in the right place during scenes.
Also, you need to present a respectful awareness of this. Going too fast with someone before being 100% sure they’re ready to play with you is a big turn-off. Take it easy, tiger.
Kink is personal enough, and if you get into that with someone online, that means you have made the other person comfortable, and you’re comfortable with them as well. However, don’t mistake that comfort as your ticket to dive deeper and get too personal.
Asking questions, the right ones, is great because this only shows you care about their enjoyment. However, it’s not good to start a convo with overly personal questions, like what they like in bed.
Keep things casual and light, especially during the first conversation. This will help both of you determine whether you’d work well during play.
6. Don’t Beat Around the Bush
Now, when you and the other person are ready to play online, be direct. Don’t be passive-aggressive or drop vague hints. Also, acting coy won’t work well in the world of kinky chats.
The straightforward approach is better. Maintaining clear communication at the right time will convey confidence, which is very attractive. This will also give the other person the chance to show their communication style.
Don’t worry about rejections: if your playmate says yes, you can figure out a time or way to play. On the other hand, if they say no, then don’t be upset. It’s just not meant to be.
In case the other person is unsure, let them know they’re welcome to talk to you about it in the future. Then, leave the ball in their court. Perhaps they’ll bring it up once you know each other better.
Free Fetish Sex Chat: The Bottomline
The thing is, in free online fetish sex chats, not everyone here will jump into the kinky stuff the minute you message them. It doesn’t work like that.
You’re just in a chat room with people who are into kinky stuff, and most of them, even you, still want to get to know the other person first before you play. Knowing this rule will allow you to have a good time in the chat room, and at the same time, satisfy your kinky craving with the person who complements your style.
Make the experience enjoyable, and never take things too seriously. People in kinky sex chat rooms are there to play, and you should be, too. There’s no room here for serious relationships that may lead to marriage. Let your kink out and just have fun!
